Thursday, December 29, 2011



Dear Pay day,
Hurry up and get here BRO! I need you DESPERATELY. i gots like 5 mutha [BEEP] in' Benjamins left in my wallet!! Ok, i'm frontin' but that's what it FEELS like son. i promise i will use you to pay off all my christmas bills and not to jack some new kicks shop the insanely awesome post-holiday sales (that I may or may not have already shopped). Sooooo, just hurry it up homie. K? Thanks...

Your broke azz Friend,
Shay Dizzle PO Fizzle

i need lotion... or new hands...

Dear Winter,
I know you've just arrived to NJ. And we've been putting you off for quite some time. But either give us snow or go away. This frigid weather is not doing anything for my skin and face. My hands are drier than a 90-year old womans........... uh, never mind. But seriously... you show up all early and dump some snow on us in OCTOBER and then poof, you're gone? Make up your mind.

Your snuggie wearing friend,

pump it, louder!

Dear Gym,
Long time no see, eh? I can't sit here and make excuses for not coming by to see you. I mean, I could but I won't. I've been lazy, fat and eating whatever is in front of me. And no, I am NOT preggers (though wouldn't that be a great excuse). I'm just going to jump on the bandwagon with the rest of the New Years Resolution people and see you then. Probably. Maybe.

Your mushy toilet paper muscled friend,

don't forget to water me bitch!

Dear Succulent,
I'm sorry i killed you. I'm a bad plant mommy. I let our love fern die. I hope you've gone on to see greener days. I will try not to let your brother die... he seems to be flourishing, as do the rest of your cousins that were given out at the wedding. I guess you were the runt of the litter so to speak.

Your over- or under-watering mom,

mmm mm good!

Dear Delicious Pear Dannon Yogurt,
3 words. Get. In. Ma. Belly. Oh crap, that's 4 words... oops. hehe (someone isn't caffeinated enough yet this morning) Anywho, as i was saying, you are amazing, delicious, little bites of real pears and under 100 calories? What more could a girl ask for... oh, except for you to NOT be LIMITED TIME! Like, for reals? Please, don't go away... you'll crush my hungry heart into a million hungry pieces. I even wrote a letter to Dannon asking for you to stick around for a little while longer permanently. I was the crazy lady at Stop & Shop that bought 10 of you yesterday just in case you're gone soon. #obsessedandproudofit.

Your #1 consumer of all your yummy goodness,
Shana NOM NOM Cambareri

your little 4lb dog is BARKING. im calling the cops... waaaah.

Dear B*tch-faced RAT Neighbor,
I'm glad at the end of the day we agreed to play nice in the sandbox with your psycho ass. Thanks for making us take off time from work to go to court with you and make no mistake that they ONLY reason it "went this far" was because YOU filed the summons against us FIRST. So despite what you think in that overly dyed, dry, ratty-haired MENTAL head of yours, the situation got out of control because of YOU and you alone. Not your poor handicapped husband who you dragged to court in the pouring rain, despite his name not being on ANY of the paperwork. Oh yeah, and that BULLSHIT about you "never wanting me to have to get rid of one of my dogs"? I'm calling you on it. Go ahead, tell the other neighbors whatever your little witchy heart desires, because they ALL know you're cray cray. And if you want to continue running to your window to "stalk" me everyday, feel free, i'm starting to enjoy it. Just remember sweetheart, in the end, i'm with G and we're happy, and your stuck with your miserable lonely old life.

Here's hoping you have "constant" diarrhea for eternity and rot in hell.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Product Review: Organix Moroccan Argan Oil Shampoo/Conditioner

A few weeks ago I was at my favorite store (Target) shopping for a new shampoo and conditioner. I'm one of those beauty junkies that likes to try everything and anything, so I rarely repeat the same brand of shampoo twice. I spied this:

Here are the descriptions for the two, off the Organix website:
The Pros: They smelled nice. Honestly, that's all I can come up with, so you know where this review is headed...

The Cons: The shampoo was a bit on the watery side, didn't sudse up too well. I overlooked that figuring the conditioner would be much better, I mean, after all it has OIL in it. Though the consistency of the conditioner was thick, I felt like it didn't really coat my hair well. I had to use a LOT of the product (pet peeve, when you have more shampoo left than conditioner at the end of the bottle) to work it through my long hair. I also like to run a comb thru my hair while the conditioner is soaking in so I can easily detangle. One word: OUCH. The conditioner did nothing for my hair and though it seemed to absorb quickly, it didn't feel like conditioned hair, rather... it still felt like I had just shampooed. I thought maybe I would feel the softness and see the shine once I dried my hair. Wrong again... it actually feels LESS soft than my normal Herbal Essences/Pantene brands. I give these products a major #fail. At $6.99 a bottle, I'm going to try to suck it up and just use it up, but I'm totally tempted to write to the company and ask for a refund (heck, maybe i'll just send them this blog!)

Anyway... my recommendation is to skip this one... have you tried this shampoo, what are your thoughts?

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts, comments, recommendations are MINE and mine alone. I was not paid in any way by anyone to review on this product.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Hi Friends!

I'm back from my Holiday break and it was a blast! 
4 glorious days of NO WORK (can i get a holla)...

My time off included:

my brother and scooter claus...
lots of family time...


a few hilarious board games... 

diamond earrings from the hubs!
some blingy christmas presents... 

she's got the crazy eyes!
 a dirrty trip to the dog park... 

and lots of LOVE.

sorry for the lack of real pictures...
i just totally forgot to get out my camera this year.

as the celebrating winds down, i guess its back to reality...
we have court tonight with our neighbor - the grinch 
(see what happened here).
wish us luck!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Have your ELF a merry little christmas!

3 days til Christmas and i've been one busy ELF!

Getting presents...
Decorating the tree...

Hanging out with my furry friends...

eating lots of yummy treats!

and last but not least...
spreading Christmas Cheer!

Oops, not that kind of cheer, my bad...

Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Have a blessed and safe holiday!

All photos found here. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Tail Wagging Tuesday: Holiday Pups!

Linking up today with the gorgeous CMae for Tail Wagging Tuesdays!

The topic... holiday pets...
Now i've done many a holiday card with the pups...
Last years was here...

This year, we focused on the wedding pictures, but still signed Love Gary, Shana, Scooter & Rio C.
(they ARE part of the family, i can't leave them out!)

My mom sent me some iPhone pics of the dogs...
she must be *really* bored during the day i guess
(3 dogs apparently aren't enough to keep her busy, i'll just HAVE to add a baby into the mix. hehehe. well... eventually. not just yet.)

Rio was Mr. Jingle Bells

and KD (my parents dog) was Mrs Santa!
She looks downright depressed wearing that thing!

Poor scooter had no holiday flair.
I think he thinks he's above all this immaturity as he kept running away from my mom!

Have a tail wagging Tuesday!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Not to Toot my own horn, but...

sometimes i've got MAD skillz yo.
i know you totally can't tell from looking at my lame ass template blog design
(web isn't my area of expertise, yet... or i'm just a great procrastinator)

but i just did a little photoshop magic for a co-worker for her daughter's year book.

i don't work in photoshop a whole lot...
and i'm definitely not a photoshop pro by any means.
i blame this on a very cute boy that distracted me to the max in college
when we were in photoshop 101.
(totally worth almost failing that class to spend a whole 4 hours a week flirting my head off with him)

ANYWAY... here's the BEFORE.

My co-worker wanted ONLY her gorgey daughter in the photo...
So i dug back (way back) to those college days and this is what i made happen.

Am I good, or am I good? LOL

On that note, i'm famished... think we're stuffing our faces with some good old taco bell for lunch.
chalupa me!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Doggie Fashions...

hiiiiiiiiiiiii peeps! its me, scooter!

i bet you're wondering where my ma is... 
she asked me to do a little shout out 
what up bitches! 
and by bitches i really DO mean female dogs...
(whassup sadie belle, how YOU doin, you fly girl...) 
oh sorry, dont mind my pimpin'...
anyway ma been supa dupa cray cray lately... fo shizzle.

im going to tell you a little (p)diddy about the time the old lady thought it was a great idea to get me sneakers. YES, sneakers. you heard right...
first of all peeps, dogs dont need sneakers. we have paws. with pads on the bottom. and nails. so we're naturally bad azz. the man upstairs who's in charge of all the biscuits is smart and set us up the right way. not like you silly humans and your, (cough cough... stupid) sneakers...

But nooooooo... ma thought that this was a *genius* idea:


she put these monstrosities on my feet and i have NEVER been so humliated in all my life.

I refused to walk. I just wouldn't nor couldn't move in those clunkers!
Watch mom moms try her hardest. 

And yes, its a minute of pure misery for me.
 i'd rather be in da slammer then show my face in these...

This is the real me, yo...
2 words for ya, GANG... STA.
Sup son!
The old lady is just trying to ruin my street cred, knowwhati'msayin'...

Rio's experience was just as bad.

Yup, i know... you're not laughing with us, you're laughing AT us.

Thank God Rio attempted to "walk" (like a ra-tard) to shut ma up.

And let me tell you peeps, if i EVER see those horrid red and yellow things come out again, 
i will poop on them. 

Mark my words.

peace out dawgs....
scooter dizzle fo shizzle.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Ouch that hurt... my wallet...

My husband's birthday is Monday. He wanted these bad boys...

These are the Bowflex Select Tech 1090 weights. With just a click, they will go from 10-90 lbs...
At $300 a pop, i offered to buy him 1 now and 1 for Valentine's Day... i thought that was generous of me.

But, then I remembered how good to me he was on my birthday...

So i had to get him 2. "Luckily" i found a place selling them off the back of a truck out of a warehouse in Brooklyn. They agreed if i came to pick them up they would drop the $140 rape shipping charge. How insane-o is that... Then again, if i were the UPS man who had to deliver two 90lb weights i would be cussin someone out!

So in the end, I got a decent deal (less than amazon, thank god i had 4 hours at work to e-shop around for them and even saved on shipping and sales tax. though now my wallet is now COMPLETELY empty...  but hubby will be happy.

Do i get some kind of award for being a good wife?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Pinteresting Wednesday

Linking up here today - just couldnt resist these funny quotes! Enjoy!

For the lady on the phone who couldn't get my name right yesterday:

For the girl across the hall at work that keeps getting a "bug":

For my psychopath neighbor that we have deal with in court next week:

For my little pups that are always getting into mischief:

For my friend who complains about her job on a daily basis:

For my hubs, when we're not getting along:

For me as a reminder to stop letting this happen to me:

Find me on pinterest and follow! you'll love it. i promise. :)
happy hump day!