Monday, April 23, 2012

The Real Life Hangover

oh lawdy.... where do i begin! 

so this past weekend, the hubs and i headed down to good old AC (atlantic city) for my cousin's birthday.a fun night out? that was the plan... instead... it was the scene from a movie... namely this movie.

the wolf pack.

there was an almost fight, an almost arrest, a cha cha slide and a disappearance. oh and lots of drinking. subsequently followed by lots of puking.

before the shit show started.
the night started out with a little gambling, then we headed to da club. we started our night pretty early, 10:30... but we avoided the lines and paid reduced cover, so i guess that was a good call. we were having a pretty good time til... a cocktail waitress crashed into me, spilling an entire FULL tray of shots down ma back, in my hair, drenched my WHITE dress... luckily the shots were clear and not colored.

as people were getting drunker, shit started going down with the boys. we're still not sure what the real story is, but my cousin DJ had words with the birthday girl's friend, my brother stepped in and all of a sudden there was a lot of shoving going on, and my "beer muscles" bro was being escorted out of the club by security. did that really happen? yeah it did. once outside, i was trying to calm him down, and as he glimpsed over he happened to see the "p*ssy a$$hole" (his words) that started everything walk by... and then shit got real... he lunges for the kid, i try to restrain him, only to have a cop run over, and slam beer muscles up against the wall... SIGH. i got the bro to calm down and by that time G was walking staggering out of the club.

in the meantime, my sweet cousin, who i won't put on blast on the blog, missed most of her own birthday because she was absolutely waaaaasted 2 hours into the night. so once we were kicked out, and were standing outside, along comes DJ and her sister, almost CARRYING the poor girl out. yup. she was THAT girl. the one that can't even walk cuz she's unconscious. been there. done that. just not recently so no judgement here!

we get her up to the room, and head back down to firewaters... another bar in the Trop. by this time, the boys are just out of control drunk. Bri and i realize that hubs left his jacket in the other club, and Bri was worried her sister was choking on her own vomit up in the room, so we leave to go get the jacket and check for a pulse. we pick up the coat, and practically crawl up to the room (damn you stilettos!) and then have a "weekend at bernie" style fiasco trying to get kait up so she can drink some water. FAIL. have you ever tried moving a passed out person? dead weight.

this photo is a pretty accurate depiction of how we felt.
after those shenanigans, we head limp back down to the bar. during the time we were gone, bri's bf is texting her that they are doing shots of patron. because they needed to drink more. apparently. we get down there, and G is MIA. none of the guys know where he is. well maybe my bro did, but he wasn't forming coherent sentences at that point. so basically they lost doug (aka the hangover). DJ goes off to look for him, Bri goes to find DJ, i'm left to babysit the other 2 drunk skunks. i turn around and there's Jim (Bri's bf) doing the damn Cha Cha Slide. By Himself. In the Hallway. And white boy got some moves...... and is loving every second of it. (of course Bri misses this whole flash mob of 1, nor does the kid even remember doing this by the next morning).

fast forward to an hour and a half later, i was in a cab back to my hotel ALONE at 3am. 15 missed calls and about 30 unanswered texts later, my sweet husband finally gets in touch with me and makes it back to our room where he gracefully faceplants diagonally on our bed, leaving me to sleep on the couch, sans blanket. seriously? amateur night was finally over.

I know i'll be able to look back on this someday and laugh about it. For now, bri and i (the sober ones) have been dubbed "The Goody Two Shoes Sisters" but someone had to be an "adult" that night. bri and i already said, next time we're the ones drinking and all of them stay sober! wouldn't you agree??

another week to look forward to i guess. and looking forward to next weekend of no crazy plans! how was YOUR weekend?


2 comments:

  1. Hahahaha I love this - the play by play is fantastic - I feel like I'm living it! I love the Weekend at Bernie's reference....glad everyone was found and alive after this night:)

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  2. Bahaha... I'm totally laughing in my office right now...alone...awkward.

    Sounds like you had a GREAT night!

    At least my drunk ass was able to control myself...and only passed out on my friends couch for 15 minutes...I can't say anything about the texts I was sending to two of my friends though. They got a kick out of it. Shesh.

    Crazy weekend for everyone!

    Loved your dress btw!

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